Finals.

Sitting in the library, books open, pen out, paper ready, and nothing happening.

Finals.

Ha.

Khayr. Insha’allah.

Got to make the grades so I can make it out to Chicago. Insha’allah Insha’allah Insha’allah.

For now, I’m here in Richmond living off dreams and spagettios.

Living off dreams...

Insha’allah ta’ala my dreams will forever remain in the realms of divine and at the expense of nothing but worldly comforts.

Please make dua that I get where I’m trying to go.

I see everyone around me cramming.

I ponder the reason behind the madness.

I realize the madness is useless. Pointless. Ridiculous.

Stress is motivation for some. Destruction for others.

Finals, exams, papers, projects. Arbitrary.

It’s not about how to score well, what to study, when to take a break or how long to violently sift through page after page of dense information.

It’s about why.

I have to remind myself that it’s about why.

Allah.

The Divine.

Drama. Perhaps. But in the end, it’s the drama that’ll define reality.

With each turn of the page, Bismillah.

With each stroke of the pen, Allhumduililah.

I study for my finals Fisabililah.

I work for good grades, Fisabililah.

My mind that I process the information with, the body that I use to copy the information with, the soul that I use to make the information come to life are all elements of the All Mighty.

They all come back to the ultimate love.
Motivation comes in the form of true love.

Motivation is Allah.

Why am I doing this?

Why am I studying Political Science for 6 hours straight?

For the sake of Allah.

So that I may one day use the information and the understanding and the advancement to better establish his deen.

Meanwhile, I sift through the pages of Imam Al-Ghazali.

Struggling to balance the information of today and the wisdom of yesterday.

Working to create a perfect fusion of both.

Working to encompass the worldly and the immortal into my mind.

I fail.

The mind is menial. Fickle. Confining.

I use my heart.

I stop studying. I start learning.

I start absorbing and implementing.

The amendments of the constitution begin to trigger ideologies brought forth in the works of Imam Al-Ghazali.

Freedom of religion beings to bring forth theological issues of boundaries highlighted by the Imam.

Subhan’Allah.

The heart is the keeper of truth.

The mind is a temporary tool of analysis.

The heart is knowledge.

I realize that the stress of finals is the rooted in limits of the mind.

No single mind can hold masses of such information if it is not taken to heart.

No mass of information can truly enter the heart unless it is willed by Allah.

Allah wills for his believers that which is beneficial for them and with pure intention.

The knowledge of the mind encompasses the heart when its attainment is for the sake of Allah.

I must continue my studies only this time, with every word I read, my mind will be focused on the One who provided me the ability to see.

With every concept I understand, my thanks will be to the One who gave me the capacity to learn.

With every book I open, my intention, Insha’Allah, will be purified and completely focused on my future being Fisabiliilah, for the Sake of Allah.

May Allah grant everyone the best in this life and the next and may He provide his assistance for all those studying for His sake.

Insha’allah.

Astagfur’Allah wanna thubu illah.