Oh My Lord, I respond to your call....

With more than unease slowly eating away at my dreams, I silently slip away to find my inner Hujra. I dream of Jalil on the grounds of Makkah, and surround myself with the personifications of Haya. Yet I still can't escape the whispers of the fahish, I still cannot escape the cloak of deceit. Struggling on this path toward attaining Ihsan, I trade my worldly dinars for a feeling of attaining my souls' Taiba. Everything bad for me is cloaked in dibaj, and every false movement seems to sparkle with the radiance of Iliya. On this path where my failures scar deep, I meet with a learned one, my one personal Faqih. My weakness so revealed I grab for my spiritual jubba, and wish I could pray just two rakahs in the mosque of Quba. I sit for a moment and search deep inside and momentarily leave the limits of the world once defined. As silence begins to fill, the beating of my heart deafens and my soul sits still. I listen carefully to who I am and the echoes of my essence ring through the hills. I sink to the ground with my hands raised, as my lips let out a whisper of endless praise: Oh Allah Labbaika wa Sadaika. Oh my Lord I respond to your call. I am obedient to Your orders. With those words my eyes do close and the world around me fades and folds. With that confession my heart does rise and the pain around me quickly subsides. My purpose is clear, my mission defined. My Lord is Allah and only with him will I survive.